Women … from a guy’s POV 2


Gizmo Guy sent me this in an email, since it gave me a chuckle I thought I’d share it with you.

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS

1. 40-ish………………….49
2. Adventurous……….Slept with everyone
3. Athletic………………..No tits
4. Average looking……Ugly
5. Beautiful………………Pathological liar
6. Contagious Smile…..Does a lot of pills
7. Emotionally secure…On medication
8. Feminist…………………Fat
9. Free spirit……………..Junkie
10. Friendship first……Former very *friendly* person
11. Fun………………………Annoying
12. New Age……………..Body hair in the wrong places
13. Open-minded……….Desperate
14. Outgoing………………Loud and Embarrassing
15. Passionate……………Sloppy drunk
16. Professional…………Bitch
17. Voluptuous………….Very Fat
18. Large frame………..Hugely Fat
19. Wants Soul mate……Stalker

WOMEN’S ENGLISH:
1. Yes……………….No
2. No………………..Yes
3. Maybe……………..No
4. We need……………I want
5. I am sorry…………You’ll be sorry
6. We need to talk…….You’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead……..You better not
8. Do what you want……You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset……..Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You’re very attentive tonight…….Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN’S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry………………………..I am hungry
2. I am sleepy………………………..I am sleepy
3. I am tired…………………………I am tired
4. Nice dress…………………………Nice cleavage!
5. I love you…………………………Let’s have sex now
6. I am bored…………………………Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance?………..I’d like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? …….I’d like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? ….I’d like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner?….I’d like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit..I’m gay

And finally…..

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

(I really hope he realizes this is a joke … especially that last one. I wonder where I left those scissors …)


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