I should have listened to Fozzy Bear

All right Mother Nature, enough already. Yes, I know Wylie’s kids are having fun building snow forts and toboganning but we adults have had enough of shoveling the darned stuff out of the driveways. Besides we’ve had enough now to guarantee us a white Christmas. (Although I understand that it for officially be a white Christmas it has to snow on Christmas morning itself, I consider it a white Christmas if there’s snow on the ground no matter when it fell.) To make matters worse, according to a report I’ve just read, it’s supposed to snow pretty much every day between now and New Year’s. Ugh.

I’ve been filling up the bird feeder with black sunflower seeds and we’ve been having fun watching the birds swooping around all day: chickadees, house finches, juncos and mourning doves, along with a pair of downy woodpeckers on the suet feeder. (Can you tell the difference in the pictures between the male and the female woodpeckers?)

They went through the seed by midafternoon, and not wanting to let them go hungry, I grabbed the seed funnel and stepped out into knee-high snow wearing only my running shoes. I made it safely all the way out to the shepherd’s hook that the feeder is hung on. Trouble was the funnel only holds enough seed to fill half the feeder. So carrying the half-filled feeder in one hand and the funnel in the other, I turned and slogged back through the drifts to the patio door. I’d made it half way when my right foot slid out from under me.

You know those passages you read when people say ‘time slowed down for them’? That’s what happened to me. I knew I was falling, and tried to figure out if there was a way to regain my balance but after a few gyrations I realized I’d probably get hurt worse and just let myself fall smack on my butt. At least it was a soft landing in the snow, more cold than anything. And I didn’t even spill any seed, much to the ground-feeding birds’ and squirrels’ disgust.

Gizmo Guy was watching and when he came to help me, he said, “That wasn’t the most graceful fall I’ve ever seen.” Gee, thanks, GG.

So I leave you with a clip from one of Guitar Hero’s favorite Christmas shows when he was a kid – the Muppet Family Christmas. Unfortunately it’s not shown much any more, but he used to watch it over and over again and then warn everyone for weeks afterward to “be careful of the icy patch.”

So there!

Gizmo Guy has been reading David Baldacci’s Camel Club series, and found this note at the end of Stone Cold (yes, it’s got the same title as Robert Parker’s Jesse Stone book – how did the marketing people let that get by?) Anyway, I just had to share it with you. (One warning that Gizmo Guy gave me – if you are planning to read the series and haven’t, this may be considered a spoiler.)


HOPE YOU ENJOYED Stone Cold. One note so people won’t e-mail telling me I made a glaring mistake: I’ve played with the time-line, putting Yuri Andropov and Konstantin Chernenko in office as heads of the Soviet Union so it would match Oliver Stone’s career as a government assassin. As a fiction writer, I have full latitude to do so. It’s an entitlement actually granted to me by the Novelist’s Bill of Rights, under the subsection “Why Bother with the Truth When You Can Just Make It Up?” It was duly enacted by Congress, an august body that has enviable experience in same.

How many writers have wanted to say this to their readers but were too afraid? I want a copy of this ‘Novelist’s Bill of Rights.’ Somehow I don’t think my editor will go for this as my explanation for any errors though.

What do you mean Leah’s blogging somewhere else today?

I’m doing my first ‘guest blog’ over on Shelley Munro’s blog today – I’m talking about how my family’s Christmas traditions have changed over the years. I’m also sharing my recipe for pizza-pan cookies. So don’t forget to pop over and say hi. (I’d hate to hear the crickets chirping.)

Also, Samhain is doing a Reader Survey as they prepare to release their first ever Top Ten Bestsellers of the Year. They’re interested in hearing about your favourite Samhain books and covers for 2008. It can be taken here. Or you can also find it over at Angela James’ blog, Nice Mommy-Evil Editor.

Smelling like meat is sexy?

Burger King has announced they’re releasing a new cologne for men so they can smell like a Burger King burger. They describe it as “a bodyspray of seduction, with a hint of flame broiled meat.” Um, do you think you’d find a man smelling of meat sexy? Especially after looking at the picture of that creepy King above? Ugh.

To get a whole new outlook on the Burger King, check out this site. (It was loading a little slow for me, but once it loads, move your mouse to the bottom center of the screen to bring up the spray bottle. It’ll keep changing the picture for you and eventually you’ll get to see the King above – one time he’s beckoning you to him, another time he’s stroking the bearskin rug he’s on, and the third time he’s got the rose. Eeew.)

File this under “I kid you not.”

Another Sony freebie …

More on the Sony deals – the Harlequin free ebook was only for that day, the next day’s ‘deal’ was a Linda Lael Miller that they chopped the price by only 25 cents. Today’s is another Linda Lael Miller–A Stone Creek Christmas–that they’ve dropped the price from $3.38 to $2.87. Whoopee. However, I’ve noticed that on the main ebook store page (left hand side), Random House is offering 9 free books between now and February 28th including

  • Julie Garwood – The Murder List
  • David Liss – The Whiskey Rebels
  • Alan Furst – The Foreign Correspondent
  • Charlie Huston – Six Bad Things
  • Charlie Huston – Caught Stealing
  • Charlie Huston – A Dangerous Man
  • Simon Rich – Free-Range Chickens
  • Laurie Notaro – The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death
  • David Carnoy – Knife Music

Free books! Woohoo, I am SO there.