During my Birthday Bash, today’s guest blogger drew the most blog visitors on my stats counter. I think it might have been because of her outrageous topic – Do the Lips Match the Tips. You might remember it – it’s the one with the discussion about nipple color. Yup, Inez Kelley’s baaa-aaack!
Fair warning? If you have a drink in your hand, I recommend you put it down before reading. Or at least have a towel handy to wipe off your monitor.
Hi Leah!! I’m back! And I promise I’ll be a perfect lady this time.
Okay, well then, maybe I should just promise to behave.
Yeah, that will never last. How about if I promise to keep my bra on? Will that work?
So, is that a jaguar in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Sorry, Myla by Moonlight humor.
Myla is a shape-shifter-jaguar-magical-spell-maiden-warrior-guardian…thing. She is hard to explain. She lives in a burn scar on Taric’s side… damn, I just flashed on Spongebob Squarepants. *whoooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea…*
Anyway, back to Myla. She was not born, she was created. That was the biggest draw to me in fantasy writing. I am a comic writer by nature but the lure of creating my own world, my own rules, yeah, I liked that power. Developing her powers and limitations, establishing laws of the land, throwing a wrench into all that… PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER!!! Itty-bitty mental space.
I may or may not have a slight God-complex—deal with it. Altar is to your left, leave offerings of chocolate and mancandy on the way out.
Now there is some humor in Myla by Moonlight. I am not sure I could write without it, honestly. And I don’t want to. Enter stage left—supporting character Bryton. Bryton has the dubious honor of being Prince Taric’s human bodyguard. In other words, this big hulking tough guy gets shown up by a girl. BOOYAH!!
He deals with this mostly through humor. He loves Taric like a brother and, as brothers do, they verbally jab each other a lot. Bryton is totally irreverent to the Crown Prince, calls him the Crown Prick and Your Hind-ass. He and Myla face off a few times but it’s all good. They both have the ultimate goal of keeping the Prince alive during a war.
Taric sounds like a big old wussy, doesn’t he? I was terrified he would come across like that. He isn’t, I swear. He armors-up and fights in battle, defends his people and his kingdom with his own muscle. He just has the backing of one very large red-headed man and a lethal magical lover. Kinda makes you pity his enemy, doesn’t it?
Don’t. I LOVED writing Emerto Marchen. He is one sick, twisted bastid. Villains are cool characters. I need more of those, I think. Evil is fun! He is sexy in his own way, if you go for the lean, mean, slithering snake type. Think Jafar without the crooked beard. Plus, Marchen has a few magic tricks of his own that might just surprise you.
One thing that surprised me while writing this was the whole issue of… issue. Royal issue, that is. An heir. I mean, yeah, logic says that to have a continuing monarchy, you’ve got to have children but well, that didn’t work so well in my tale. Not only can Myla not get pregnant (magic birth control, got to love it, no missed pills, no messy periods, etc) but I took the whole “Knock her up” to a new extreme. Taric can’t. It is impossible. His swimmers only swim upstream for one woman, the one he is bonded to.
And one guess who he bonds with? Hint, she ain’t real and has claws.
*insert big cheesy grin here* Man, this playing God-stuff is fun.
A word of warning, though. As much fun as it is to torture my characters, they got their revenge. They broke my heart. *sniff* I hope you find Myla by Moonlight as enchanting as I did.
When you stop laughing, don’t forget to leave a comment because Inez is giving away a copy of her Myla by Moonlight to one lucky commenter.
And while you’re at it, go over and visit her website, she has some extremely drool-worthy mancandy up this week. Okay, she has drool-worthy mancandy every week, this week’s … well, I have to go get myself a towel now. And a hair dryer to dry off my keyboard. And my monitor. Inez is a dangerous woman if you have a drink in your hand.