Trick or treat, smell my feet, gimme something good to eat!

Or read. Judging by the backyard spread I have going on, you better make it something to read. Expanding my mind is so much better than expanding my butt size.

I have a confession. Listen close.

I. Don’t. Like. Candy. (Man candy not included, see fine print for details, void where prohibited)

There, I said it. I am an aberration, I know. Not only that, I don’t care for cake or pie or cookies or any of that. *hangs head in author shame* I am just not a sweet lover. I will work my way through a can of Pringles like a rabid squirrel with a tapeworm, though. Why don’t people hand out little bags of chips for Halloween? I would so there.

I visit a few message boards and sites and read all these posts on the yummy Halloween candy coming out, what people plan to steal from the kids’ treat bags, etc. Meh, I don’t care. I was the kid who gave my treat bag to my brothers. I just wanted to dress up.

That aspect of Halloween I *WISH* there was more adult participation in. I loved choosing who to be and gathering bits and pieces of my costume. Pretending was so much more fun. I could be Wonder Woman or a gory bride or a gypsy.

I’d slather on a butt ton of cheap sparkly make-up, go wild with my hair and completely get into character. If I think about it, I was the chick you all hate. The one who had the really cool costume in college, forced her boyfriend to dress up in a matching costume and won the prize. Of course, it helped that I had a theater make-up internship and could paint up a skeleton faster than most frat boys down a beer. I had a blast playing with latex (not that kind!)

Well, actually, Trojan’s make super funky horns of you coil wax paper inside them, let the lubricant dry out and paint them with bone-colored paint. Light, cheap and if you lose a condom THAT way, no embarrassing trip to the pharmacy.

I think I’m straying into TMI territory there.

Back on track…

Costumes let you live out another life, even if just for a few hours one night a year. Sadly, I now live in a rural area that has nothing for Halloween. I take my kids to a neighboring town so they can trick or treat but for adults, nada. Zip. Zilch. Most days, I write in sweat pants and floppy tee shirts. (no bra, bewbies must be free to think)

In order to live out my desire to be a police woman, a magic priestess, a dominatrix, etc. I use words. I become my characters. I will go weeks living out one character’s mannerisms, actions, quirks. Writing a Deejay? I think and speak in commercial clips and sound bites. I spent a month with medieval overtones to my speech. A pastry chef? I make tons of those sweets I never eat. If I am writing a comedy bit, I am witty and up.

This is great when it is a likeable character. It is not so amusing when I am channeling the bad guy. Then I can be dark and broody and a real bitch. I laugh when my characters. I fall in love as they do. I get angry and sad and cry when they do. I hurt when they hurt. (if you have read any of my work, I kinda have this *thing* for torturing my people, S’all good.)

My bio claims I surpass Sybil in the number of voices in my head. Chickie, that is just the tip of the iceberg. I have whole casts of several books talking in my head at once. I talk to myself in more than one tone at a time when writing dialogue. My kids think it is hysterical. My husband swears he deserves combat pay. He probably does. If I ever write about a millionaire, he can take it up with her.

Halloween is only a few days away. I wonder who I can be for that?

Inez Kelley’s latest ebook, a romantic fantasy MYLA BY MOONLIGHT is available now at most ebook vendors. You can also download her latest installment of the freebie Beauty and the Badge series at the SAMHELLION today, a Halloween inspired story called TRICK OR CHEAT!

Stop by http://inezkelley.com/ and say hi!!

Dressing Up Inez Kelley
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5 thoughts on “Dressing Up Inez Kelley

  • October 26, 2009 at 7:14 am

    Yes, you are a freak for not liking candy 😉 but I'm with you on the whole tapeworm/pringles thing.

    I HATE to dress up. What can I say? Maybe it's just because I'm not that creative.

    Whatever you do, please post a pic! And happy Monday to both you ladies!


  • October 26, 2009 at 7:37 am

    'no bra, bewbies must be free to think' – LOL!!

    My best friend is a salty gal, so I've discovered there really are non-candy-loving kids out there. When we were girls I thought she was just making that up to be contrary.

  • October 26, 2009 at 10:28 am

    Pringles rule, sweeties drool…

    Just saying.

    Rock on Inez, and I LOVE the costume pic with the wall plug and socket. :GRIN:

  • October 26, 2009 at 10:49 am

    OMG…don't like candy..lol

    I love pringles too.I could live with my boys getting chips instead of candy but they would die…lol

    If I didn't wear a bra I would give myself blackeyes..lol

    I'm dressed for Halloween all year long..hehe

  • October 26, 2009 at 11:28 am

    I heart candy…so does my butt.

    I love how much you channel your characters Inez. Must suck when you're in a torture scene though! 🙂

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