What makes a proposal perfect?

Yesterday my story Perfect Proposal released on Amazon and Smashwords, then this morning I was watching my favorite Breakfast Television show on a local channel and they were talking about how to propose and how not to.  For instance, never propose at another couple’s wedding.  They also suggested that you shouldn’t propose on a holiday as it will get lost in the swirl of everything else that’s going on. Don’t hide the ring in food…

Although I usually research every little thing about my stories, strangely enough I never researched anything about proposals. I just went with what I wanted, and knowing Sam the way I do, with what I figured he’d do.  So after hearing BT’s tips, I Googled “proposal tips” and found this site:  Make it a surprise. Talk to her parents. Don’t propose in public. Drop to one knee.

Yup, everything Sam wanted to do (tried to do) was right in line.  Pretty much.Of course, nothing about Sam’s plans go quite the way he plans in Perfect Proposal.

Do you agree with their suggestions? Do you expect the love of your life to get down on one knee? Do you want it in private? In public? How about on the jumbotron at the baseball game? Should they choose the ring for you and surprise you with it? Or would you prefer to help choose it after you’ve accepted their proposal?

Gizmo Guy’s proposal? Wasn’t romantic at all.  We’d been going together for about 18 months, and had discussed getting married for months.  We’d searched for just the right ring together (for months) and I was there when we picked it up from the jeweler’s.  (A little old man who “had known we’d come back” so he’d already sized the ring from when I’d tried it on months before.)   So it wasn’t exactly a surprise.

After paying for the ring and tucking it in his pocket, Gizmo Guy stopped off at coffee shop and picked up a couple donuts then we headed back to his car. So there we were, sitting in a parking lot in the middle of a cold November day, when he says “so when do you want to get married?” and plops a donut in my hand.  No getting down on  one knee, no flowers, no strains of romantic music on the radio or wine or champagne in sight (thankfully since he was about to drive).

(I still think he owes me another proposal, LOL. But then he did marry me twice–we renewed our vows on our 15th wedding anniversary. We then took the kids with us on our “second honeymoon.” Yeah, not a lot of sexxin’ going on after that wedding.)

How did your S.O. propose? Was it romantic? Or did you end up having to pop the question?  If you’ve not had one yet, what’s your ideal proposal?

Tell me your “he asked me” story, or if you’ve not yet received a proposal, tell me your fantasy. I’m giving away a $10 Amazon.com gift certificate to a commenter  (but you have to have told me your story, or shared your ideal proposal. “Enter me” comments won’t be enough.)  I’ll leave the contest open until next Tuesday (January 24th) when I’ll announce the winner.  

Thank you to everyone for entering, the contest is now closed. Congratulations to Barb K, the winner of the $10 Amazon gift certificate.

18 thoughts on “What makes a proposal perfect?

  1. LOL, my DH’s proposal was just as weak. =D

    We had talked about getting married, had already picked out and purchased the ring. That weekend we were going to his mom’s for a belated Christmas/New Years celebration. He kept showing the ring to EVERYONE, but refused to give it to me. Finally on Sunday morning he gave it to me, about four seconds after I woke up. :)

    But at least he actually ASKED me to marry him. LOL

    • The more proposal stories I’m hear, the more ours sound like the norm. Though yours must have been frustrating (and funny for us now) to know that he had the ring, he was going to give it to you but refused and then didn’t come up with something romantic in the end.

  2. No proposal yet. I want my guy to proposal on one knee in private with a ring he picked. I don’t have anything more specific than that.

  3. No proposal yet. I don’t know if I ever want to get married. My guy can just live with me. lol If I ever change my mind, I would at least like him to get down on one knee to propose right. I do like how the guy on the chevy car commercial tries to propose to his love. lol

    • There’s a Chevy commercial with a proposal, huh? I’ll have to Google that one. Not wanting to get married works too–nowadays there is that choice, especially if the relationship does turn sour.

    • That’s what happens with Sam in Perfect Proposal when his plans go awry. But a little behind-the-scene planning helps, yes, but you may be called upon to improvise… ;)

  4. Well, my marriage is now on the rocks… badly. There was never a ring (although we did get wedding rings later, just plain gold, which I love because I don’t have to take it off for capoeira). I would have married him on a ring made out of paper, though. I wanted to spend my life with him (and also, health insurance). I’m too feminist to approve of asking the parents’ permission or the guy having to be the one to propose (and too far left to think it has to be a girl and a guy, for that matter). I care more about weddings than betrothals.

    That said–it’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance to do something utterly magical that has a lasting, symbolic effect. I think my perfect proposal would be in pitch darkness, alone together in the woods at night, maybe in the middle of winter. Or delivered formally, in writing, preferably hand-illuminated (or, if it’s in Chinese, in good calligraphy). Something that took time to think of. And it should be personal–I’m not a big ol’ rock and down on one knee kind of woman; the proposer should know the proposee well enough to know whether heteronormative tradition is called for or they need to make soemthing up.

    • Zee, sorry to hear about your marriage not getting its happy-ever-after. You’re right about the symbolism of the proposal. That one moment that will be frozen in time, that hopefully can help you when the not-so-memorable moments occur.

      I like the idea of trudging out into the woods in the middle of winter and staring up at the star-lit sky and then dropping to one knee in the silence. I’ve been staring up at a lot of starlit winter skies at 2 a.m. when the puppy was younger. There is something very majestic and awe-inspiring about it. And very romantic too.

  5. :D
    Well, I looked over at my soon-to-be Mr, and said “Want to get married?”
    He said sure…
    2 months later we were in Vegas saying our vows!

    • Yay Natasha! I was hoping someone would chime in that they’d been the one to propose! And Vegas, huh? My mom always said watch out for the quiet ones — you’re turning the usual librarian stereotype on its head. Go you!

  6. I’ve had two proposals, but since the first one ended in divorce, let’s not talk about that one. ;)
    Hubby & I were already living together and happy parents of a one-year-old when he proposed. I honestly didn’t see it coming, probably because I didn’t see the need to do the wedding thing, not having had much luck with it the first time around.
    It was a bright, spring day (sweater weather, no jackets), and we’d taken our daughter to my old hometown for a walk on the beach. To my complete surprise, Hubby did the drop-to-one-knee thing on the sand. He’d chosen a pretty ruby ring, because he knew I wouldn’t want another diamond. My response to his sweet, romantic proposal: “Why?” LOL. Lucky for me, he didn’t rescind the offer. :)

    • Aw, that’s sweet. And LOL at your response. I have heard of someone who responded “what the hell” — not exactly the romantic reaction usually expected ;)

  7. My husband decided to get me the car I’ve always dreamed of and use it as part of his proposal. Turns out finding my dream car wasn’t as easy as he thought it was going to be, and it took him almost a year to find it. Needless to say after 4 years together I was getting impatient. His mom took me shopping to distract me while he set everything up, and he pulled into the drive way with my new (to me) 1969 VW Beetle. At first I wasn’t thrilled to see the car, because I assumed he used the money we were saving for my ring to buy it. LOL He clipped the ring box to the keys and asked me to get the keys out of the car. When I reached to grab them, I thought I broke something off the car when I heard something drop onto the floor board. I picked it up and it was a ring box! When I turned around he was on one knee. It was great! He even made sure to video it.

  8. Well my (now) husband surprised me when we were having a picnic, in a woods, on a blanket, sipping gin gimlets(yes, liquor was involved!) and he totally out of the blue popped the question. It’s been a wonderful marriage with three great children! Happy, lucky me!!

  9. Hi Leah!
    I just bought PP since I have to find out how it ends you terrible tease lol. And OMG you mentioned me!! With Anara!! OMG I’m in a Sam book !! I would gladly take Rosie’s place lol. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m going to tear up.

    I met hubby over the phone & no it wasn’t a 1-900 number.
    Hubby & I worked for the same company in different cities. He was this sexy voice on the phone. I got chills up my spine whenever I heard his voice. After months of slowly getting to know each other over business calls, he asked me out. We met on Jan 6, he proposed on Jan 30 & we got married 6 months later on my birthday July 30. When people asked “Well didn’t you just faint when he asked so soon?” I always said, “No we were already lying down!” 28 years later his voice is still it!

  10. There was never an actual proposal. We had been going out for about 4 years & then we were planning a wedding. It just happened. A proposal would have been lovely though.

  11. There were so many good suggestions/stories, and Tabatha even shared the video of her proposal, that I wish I could give you all gift certificates. :(

    So I left it up to random.org’s randomizer and they chose…

    Barb K! You’re the winner of the $10 AMZN gift certificate. I’ll be emailing you shortly to confirm your email address.

    Thanks to everyone for taking the time to share your ideas of a perfect (or not so perfect) proposal.

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