When I wish friends on Facebook a happy birthday or congratulations for something, I often tell them I’m sending cabana boys their way. It’s not an original idea; I totally stole it from fellow Toronto Romance Writer Bonnie Staring.
But Gizmo Guy emailed me this morning with a link to this ad on Kijiji (it’s a site where you can sell things, like Craigslist) where four women are looking for cabana boy for a long weekend at the cabin. Honest. It’s a real ad!
The text is:
WANTED : CABANA BOY
Looking for a young man (25-39 years), available the weekend of October 12-14, 2012 (4 day weekend) to serve as a cabana boy for four voluptuous, self-indulgent friends (34-37 years). You will have your own cabin for sleeping (bathroom is shared in the main house), separate from the house and transportation can be provided. We will be staying in the St. Jerome/St. Hippolyte area. Your meals will be provided and it’s BYOB if you have a specific preference (in other words…. we don’t usually bring beer). We will require a resume with two recent references. You will have the luxury of enjoying a beautiful cabin in the woods with a fire pit, fire place, canoe, paddle boat and kayak. The view is amazing. All you will need to bring in your clothing and personal items, everything else will be provided. There is usually no cell phone reception in the area(you have to walk up to the road) but there is a land line phone for emergencies. You will be given much free time throughout the weekend to enjoy the lake for swimming or water activities listed above or to explore the area.
Preferences would include the following:
- Brown or black hair or even a ginger.
- Physically fit/strong (more on the chunky side than the thin or ripped side).
- The strong silent type but funny when appropriate. Relaxed and flexible.
- Intelligence and the nerdy look is an asset, but not necessary, you can be dumb as dirt as long as you look pretty and are strong!
- Non-smoker and drug free.
- Owner of a loin cloth and a cowboy hat!
- Ability to play the guitar is an asset.
- Must be able to pass a criminal reference check.
- No expectations as there will be no “benefits” with this position!
- Must be willing to sign a non-disclosure agreement.
- If you have an accent of any of the European varieties we may wave many of the previously listed preferences!
Duties will include (we will assist in some of these duties also):
- Will address all four ladies as Mistress and My Lady!
- Unloading/Loading vehicles and carrying luggage etc… to the house (there are 4-5 flights of stairs to the cabin).
- Making drinks, cooking meals and making smores.
- Cleaning up after meals, doing dishes and garbage (we bring paper plates).
- Assisting in fire making and maintaining (outside and inside).
- Killing spiders!
- Neck rubs when required!
- Lighting our cigarillos!
- Respecting our space and privacy when we require it.
- End of weekend clean up as per the cabin instructions (stripping beds, garbage and sweeping).
Okay, I’m totally with them on the killing spiders request. And the request for neck rubs when required. But “more on the chunky side than the thin or ripped side?” Um, no thanks. I want my guys ripped. Oh, and I’m also totally with the loin cloth and cowboy hat request…
If you took the ad, I want pictures of the applicants. And pictures of the winners and the weekend. Maybe even an invitation?