When I was down in Dallas Texas for a conference two years ago, my critique partner, Dani, introduced me to a lovely southern tradition of addressing ladies with Miss in front of their name. So for the entire time I was there I was Miss Leah. I quite liked it, it’s a pity it’s died off, or not picked up elsewhere in the world. So when I first saw today’s guest Missy Jane on the Samhain Author’s lists, I figured she had to be from the south. To confirm that suspicion, her website is www.msmissyjane.com. So I propose that for today, to make Missy Jane right at home, we adopt that lovely southern gentility. All I’m missing is the mint julep and the magnolia blossoms (I had them, but they died off a couple months ago).

All kidding aside, please welcome Missy Jane.


Everyone ages, whether we want to admit it or not, and honestly I’ve never been one to fuss about my age. I turned thirty-four last month and don’t feel old in any sense of the word. If anything I feel liberated, knowing I’m now old enough to do what I want, when I want and how I want without being deemed immature. However, even as I sit here without a single gray hair (naturally), I am definitely bothered by age. My kids are getting older too! Where is the darn pause button? My four beautiful, precious daughters range in age from six to fifteen and I see no way to stop the progress. They’re getting smarter, which isn’t always a good thing. They’re becoming independent little ladies, which terrifies me and their daddy. They are doing and saying all the things I did at their age and I’m at worried.

I called my mom to complain that I would have a high schooler for the first time this fall and she laughed at me. No sympathy whatsoever. My oldest put a boy band picture on her wall and her daddy started shopping for a newer rifle…sigh. I look at them in all their stages of growth and can’t imagine the terror my father must have felt when I left for college. How am I supposed to handle letting them go when I’ve held them close for so long? I’ve already told them they can’t marry until they’re thirty. Their daddy said they’re out at eighteen. Hmph, we’ll see who wins that one. Well, someday my little birds will leave the nest and I’ll have to pretend they’re not fragile. I’ll have to trust their instincts and ability to take care of themselves. I’ll have to hope my six year old will eventually learn how to match two socks together and stop singing at the top of her lungs on the toilet. It won’t be easy, but neither was bringing them into this world and keeping their daddy calm at the same time.

And once their gone and the house rings silent? Well, I’ll finally be able to read all those Shakespeare plays I’ve been collecting. I’ll have the opportunity to write anytime I want without interruption, and I might even get to sleep in some mornings. Oh wait…I’ll still be married. Oh well, at least we won’t have to lock the bedroom door every night.

Do you have children with the rapid aging issue mine have? Three random commenters will receive a goody bag in their mailbox!


Missy Jane spends most of her time lost in worlds of her own making alternately loving and hating such creatures as vampires, shape-shifters and gargoyles (to name a few). When not writing, she spends her time reading, taking photos of her beautiful daughters and training her husband to believe she’s always right.

Excerpts from Missy’s work can be found at www.msmissyjane.com.
Missy’s first book, They Call me Death is available from Samhain Publishing.

Her second book will be available from Sapphire Blue Publishing soon.


Note to Missy: If you figure a way to get ’em to move out of the house at 18, will you share your secret with me? Because I’ve got a 24 year old still living at home, and an 18 year old who has another year of school. And as anyone who followed me on Twitter the other day when I revealed just a little too much information, my hubby and I are definitely looking forward to our birdies flyin’ the nest.

They Call Me Missy Jane

36 thoughts on “They Call Me Missy Jane

  • July 15, 2009 at 4:16 am

    Hi Missy! I loved your story 🙂 But I'm afraid I'm more like Miss Leah's problems – in my late twenties and still at home. The recipe for throwing your children out – help them pay the rent 🙂
    I'm the youngest of three and only one still living at home – I tried to move out but my mum argued because the expensiveness of single room apartment while we have (now) two empty bedrooms at home. I think she's feeling like Missy, doesn't want to be alone…

  • July 15, 2009 at 4:31 am

    My children are 41 and 32 and yes, they are still aging faster than me…hehehe.

    Now, how did I get them out of the house? When my daughter was 21, still living at home and doing her own thing and pissing me off every chance she got until I finally told her if she was going to continue living at home, she could start to pay room & board and I gave her a weekly figure I expected her to pay. Her comment was, 'Why didn't I pay her that amount and she would rent with the cash.' I told her it doesn't work that way, told her to pack her stuff and move on down the road. She did and we have been very happy ever since. I did help her with equipping her first solo apartment a few months later,,,after all, I'm not heartless! LOL

    With my son, it was a bit more drastic. He was also 21 when I retired and made plans to sell my house and move to another state. He didn't want to go with me & I didn't really want him to go along either, so he made plans to move into his first apartment. I helped him equipping his apartment too.

    I've been in my new digs in a warmer clime for 10 years now and very happy with how my kids have turned out!

  • July 15, 2009 at 4:35 am

    Missy they age way too fast.

    I just had a baby, and it feels like yesterday. Next week he'll already be a month old. I mean what the heck???

  • July 15, 2009 at 4:36 am

    I don't mind them living at home while they're still in school, but my eldest finished college a few years ago but couldn't get a job in his field. He's been working at Walmart at nights. He paid a low rent for a couple of months (within his salary means, we're not heartless) but when he decided to go back to college, I stopped collecting it so he could save faster. He's supposed to go back to school in September for three months and then begin an apprenticeship program. *fingers crossed*

    As for helping pay the rent, um, can't afford to do that. I still have a mortgage and hubby's taken a 60% pay cut thanks to two lay offs in 5 years. (At least he's working and we still have the house), plus my youngest will be going to college next year and I've got to pay the tuition on that. I'll help them furnish their place, but they've got to learn to be self-reliant. (I wish I could help him but at the same point it's not teaching him to be self-reliant.)

  • July 15, 2009 at 4:47 am

    While I love all four of my children dearly, I absolutely cannot live with my "thirty somethings" of which I have two. My daughter used to rent the apartment upstairs from mine, and it seemed like I was forever being asked to "keep an eye on the kids for a while" Now she lives across town, and we get along better. My oldest and youngest are both disabled, and the youngest lives with me. Like I said, I love them, but there are times when I don't like them, if you know what that means.

  • July 15, 2009 at 5:28 am

    Hi, Ms. Missy!

    I don't have any kids but! I AM the 21-year-old daughter still living at home! Much to my parents' dismay, heh.

  • July 15, 2009 at 5:33 am

    Hi Missy,
    That story sounds great and I just love the cover.
    No children yet, but I am 26 and I do mooch from my parents. Lol, well they give me food, which I of course love

  • July 15, 2009 at 5:36 am

    Great post. Love the part of the riffle upgrade hihi.

  • July 15, 2009 at 6:41 am

    Hello Miss Kitty, LOL well to help us all out lets wait a few more years and do a big quadruple wedding with my 4 boys…. LOL mine are a bit older 10-20 but again, like Miss Leah, are not going anywhere soon…. 🙂

  • July 15, 2009 at 7:19 am

    Oy, Missy! Mine have quite a few more years before hitting 18, so it'll be quite some time before they're leaving 😉 To be honest, time is flying, and I'm terrified at the years to come! Any way to slow down the passage of time 😉 (Of course, when they're driving me bonkers, I can't wait for them to grow up and be capable of living independently!)

  • July 15, 2009 at 7:37 am

    First, loved the article today. Second, OMG, I live with three teenage drama queens. 17, 15 and 13. The 17 year old has been on again, off again, on again, back off again and now …. on again with her boyfriend that just grates my nerves. The 15 year old is so overbearing in her relationship with her boyfriend and the 13 year old is so boy crazy it's not even funny. She is NOT allowed to date! Hubby rarely comes home anymore with all the hormones throughout the house and when he does, it's straight to the bedroom he goes. Too funny!

  • July 15, 2009 at 7:45 am

    " My oldest put a boy band picture on her wall and her daddy started shopping for a newer rifle"

    ROFLMAO! Too funny.

    No kids. I'm free as a bird. lol

  • July 15, 2009 at 9:56 am

    Hi Miss Lean and Miss missy.I love that book cover btw. And yeah I'll take advice on how to get an older child out of my house. Looks like I am going to have to move mines stuff outside and throw the tent out after him.

  • July 15, 2009 at 10:13 am

    My mom is having/had a really hard time finding the pause button too. She's still looking for it but i'm going off to college in august and that's where we're both having some trouble.
    lexeetoste at sbcglobal.net

  • July 15, 2009 at 10:14 am

    Time does fly and your kids get old before you know it. My parents were lucky since we all left home once we started college. They now have two adopted kids (17 and 18) and I have a feeling that their luck has run out. Neither boy seems in a hurry to leave, and with mom's good cooking I can't say I blame them.

  • July 15, 2009 at 11:29 am

    I don't have any kids. I know that a lot of adults are moving back in with their parents during these tough economic times.

  • July 15, 2009 at 11:29 am

    Six of my eleven are out on their own, though it took them a few false starts to get going…hehe!!

    Well, the poor things, there just wasn't any privacy, nowhere to hide…hehe!! They fled as soon as they could!!

    I think the younger ones will be hanging around a bit longer than the older ones did. They have it a bit more cushy.


  • July 15, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    Well, I don't have children, so I can't answer you there….
    All I know, is that tomorrow, I turn 28, and I can't for the life of my figure out where those 28 years have gone.
    OH and if you have not read They Call Me Death, DO IT! Awesome read!!

  • July 15, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    Val, I still can't get over the fact that you have 11 children. You are a goddess!

  • July 15, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    I have not had children ar home for years, and it's wonderful.

  • July 15, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    No pause button here from my oldest (stepson) at 24 to youngest (7 yo twins) they are growing and changing so fast they change when I blink. Blink. See, it happened again. 🙂


  • July 15, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Wow! Looks like I picked a hot topic. It's hilarious reading through all the comments to see everyone's take on keeping the kids home or kicking them out 😉
    Normally I want them home forever, but after the day I had at work I think coming home to an empty house might be nice once in a while.
    Thanks for reading and for all of the comments, keep them coming! Three lucky readers will be getting a goody bag.
    -Missy Jane

  • July 15, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    Hi Missy!
    All I can say is I can totally relate! Good luck to us all!


  • July 15, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    And just an aside to Valerie…11 kids?!?! WOW! I'm sure you were looking for fast forward rather than pause, lol.
    Happy birthday, Natasha!!! Hope it's an awesome day!

  • July 15, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    Hi 🙂
    I love the title of that book "THEY CALL ME DEATH".
    Thanks for another great blog post.
    As a single divorced father with joint custody I see my kids rapidly aging every time I see them. Whether its growing an inch or learning new things or asserting independence, etc. I am enjoying them as much as I can because all too soon they will gone to College and then to jobs/significant others/life/etc.
    Love from Canada

  • July 15, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    I don't have children yet myself. So I cannot give any advice except to stock up on the asprins and try to have patience.
    You know, I've been lucky enough to read your book "They Call Me Death". I couldn't wait for the print version and got the ebook. It's such an awesome book and I simply cannot wait until book 2 is out!

  • July 15, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    I have no kids and no particular traumas about my age, but I feel like time is moving too fast. Maybe it starts to accelerate when you get older, cause I'm pretty sure it didn't move this fast when I was younger.

  • July 15, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    haha. Yes. I have two boys, aged 13 and 17. and two others here aged 19 and 21. I imagine the 17yo might be the first to leave. They're all champing at the bit to be on their own, but he's the least comfortable here. (I think). Oddly enough, while the one is so anxious to leave, all the friends leave their house to come here … maybe you could just trade girls with some of their friends parents …. ?!!?!?

  • July 15, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    well i have two boys 16 and 9 and lemme tell ya they make me realize that im older they r growing up way to too fastone minute they wer ein grade school now they r in highschool and dating its daughting and scary but they tell me all the time only a couple more yrs my sister still lives at home with her soon to be 5 children and shes in her 30s apperently she is loven it so if you got any tips please pass um my way as well

  • July 15, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    Unfortunately, no kids here at the moment just me as my sister, niece & nephew (13yrs old & 10 yrs. old) just moved out.

  • July 15, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    Thank you everyone for reading the blog and continuing to comment! Thanks Leah for having me! I have to attend something early tomorrow morning and through the afternoon, so I'll pick my three lucky readers when I get back. That gives everyone who hasn't yet added their two cents a bit more time 😉

  • July 15, 2009 at 8:34 pm

    Great post, Missy. I don't have any kids. Like a few of the others, I'm one of those who is still living with my parents. I pay them a little bit of rent and help out with groceries and things on occasion. It has worked out well for all of us since it's convenient for my job and my school and it helps them with things since my dad has taken a 30% pay cut.

    I do get to witness my nieces and nephews growing, though, especially since my sister and brother-in-law live three doors up and across the street. They are definitely growing up faster than I'm ready for.

  • July 15, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    No, I have yet to cross that bridge!

  • July 15, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    Great post! My older daughter is 30 next year, but I don't feel that old… My younger one is 24, still living at home and I think I'd like her to move out soon…

  • July 16, 2009 at 1:18 am

    I lived at home for almost 2 years after I graduated to save up money and figure out where I wanted to live.

  • July 16, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    All right everyone, thanks again for your comments and for reading my rant! For those of you who said such nice words about They Call Me Death, THANK YOU!! I'm thrilled that ya'll liked my book. Now, for the moment you've been waiting for…drumroll please…
    My three winners are:
    Natasha A.
    Congratulations! Just email me at missy@msmissyjane.com with your snail mail address and your goody bags will be on their way. I haven't completely decided on everything I'm going to shove in them, but expect a cd with a couple of free stories and other promo from me and my publisher.
    Take care everyone, Missy Jane

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