Today’s guest is one that gave me a real “woohoo” moment when she agreed to guest blog on my bash. Yes, Lorelei James is another author I stalked because she’s one of my favorite Samhain authors.
Confession time. I’d never read any of Lorelei’s work until January of this year. And then I went out and bought everything she had at Samhain. Lorelei writes about cowboys. Sexy cowboys. Cowboys you would let tie you up and … oh, yeah, I’m supposed to be introducing her not fantasizing about her McKay brothers of her Rough Riders series.
But, really, how can you blame me for fantasizing when you read her warnings:
Warning: this romp features nekkidness the cowboy way—sex with boots on and with boots off, dirty sex against a dirty pickup truck, bare-assed sex on a bear skin rug, graphic language, unfortunate aim with a nail gun, and improvisational use of whips and whipped cream. Branded as Trouble.
Warning: this book contains: explicit sex nine ways ‘til Sunday – including ménage a trois, inventive use of ropes, naughty girls getting spanked, stubborn men getting hog-tied, graphic language and whoo-wee! hot nekkid cowboy action. Rode Hard Put Up Wet
and …Warning: This title contains the following: lots of explicit sex, going strong long after the cows come home, graphic language that’d make your mama blush, light bondage with bullropes, ménage a trois, and – yee-haw! – hot nekkid cowboy man-love. Long Hard Ride
Apparently writing all these steamy scenes isn’t as glamorous as you would think. Or hope. For her post, Lorelei shares her average writing day.
5:30 a.m. – Wake up without the aid of an alarm clock. Wonder why in the hell I cannot sleep past five thirty in the morning. Ever. Grumble as I head downstairs to my office and smile because my husband started my coffee.
5:30 to 7:00 a.m. – Answer emails while drinking coffee. Check my website stats. Check amazon.com book rankings. Check barnesandnoble.com book rankings. Check mybookstoreandmore.com book rankings. Check mobipocket.com book rankings. Check booksonboard.com book rankings (sensing a pattern here?) Recheck email accounts and answer emails I avoided the first go around. Check my favorite blogs and read the news while drinking coffee.
7:05 a.m. – Yell at middle daughter to get up and get ready for work. Drink more coffee. Screw around online.
7:30 a.m. – Realize daughter #2 is not up and yell again. Wonder why the coffee pot is empty and secretly suspect daughter #2 snuck upstairs and drank 1 of the 12 cups of coffee while I was screwing around online with various important “writer” stuff.
8:00 to 8:15 – Shut off computer in office and head upstairs to my crappy laptop (without internet access) to work.
8:15 to whenever daughter #3 decides to roll out of bed – Write, taking breaks every 30 minutes due to excessive coffee consumption.
Noon – Decide ice cream and taco chips are “brain food” that will help me write better/faster/cleaner and have a quick lunch while yelling at daughter #3 to get out of her pajamas. Text daughter #1 and ask if she’ll be home tonight. Text daughter #2 and ask what she’s having for lunch. Text daughter #3 (who is in the basement) and remind her IN ALL CAPS to get out of her pajamas. Call my husband and tell him to stop texting me because I’m working. Then text him back and say I was only kidding.
12:15 to 3:30 – Write. Wish I could nap. Wish I could read just one of the books on my TBR pile. Sigh and get back to work.
3:30 – Flip on main computer in office and check email again. Panic because I missed an email reminding me I agreed to guest blog for Leah. Spend an hour choosing and discarding these thought provoking topics:
a) Why I’m paranoid and feel my editor likes her “other” authors better than me
b) Why I dread the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally starting next week and the hundreds of thousands of bikers who descend on us (I wrote four paragraphs that sucked and canned the idea, but now as I’m rereading this, I’m considering checking the recycling bin on my desktop, because hello? This blog topic ain’t much better folks, sorry)
c) Lament being mostly computer illiterate
d) Rant about the evils of technology being 24/7, focusing on why normally rational adults are obsessed with their Crackberrys (Blackberrys) –and why checking your Facebook messages during sex is ALWAYS a bad idea
e) Talk about the kick ass “Days of 76 Rodeo” I attended in Deadwood Saturday night, focusing on the very excellent rough stock rides and the more excellent than usual Wrangler encased cowboy butts sauntering by me
f) Discuss menu planning ideas under duress (I laughed myself silly typing that…menu planning? And me? In the same sentence? Get out! My idea of menu planning is, “Honey, could we have steaks tonight?” Seriously. My husband is chief cook when I’m under deadline. Okay, that’s a total lie, he almost always cooks these days—due to my idea of appropriate “food” as referenced above)
g) Detail why helping daughter #1 chose household items for her new apartment when she goes back to college next month makes me cry
h) Decide a humorous take on my schedule when I’m under deadline would be the height of hilarity—and so unique!
4:30 to 6:00 – House stuff. Kid stuff. Think about drinking beer and catching up on episodes of Burn Notice and True Blood I have DVR’d, but watch Hannah Montana and That 70’s Show reruns with daughter #3 instead, while waiting for daughter #2 to get home from work. Wonder if daughter #1 still lives here, and contemplate the culinary delights my hubby will prepare for the evening meal when he comes home from work.
7:00 to 11:00 – Work on project due in ONE WEEK and feel guilty for everything under the sun I’m neglecting in order to hit my deadline
11:15 – Feel incredibly lucky as I’m drifting off that tomorrow morning I’ll get up and do it all over again 🙂
***Neuroses and time frame subject to change at any time. For any reason.
I’m giving away the winner’s choice of Lorelei’s books (e-format) to today’s lucky commenter.